September 2021 – Dear Sobriety

Posted on September 25, 2021 by monicatbd · 2 Comments

Day 1,409 – Caturday!

Dear Sobriety,

Couple more Recovery Awareness Month texts to share. Have a meowgical Caturday!

9/19/21

My brother posted this in a recovery FB group we’re both in. Sometimes a visual representation works better for me.
Happy Sunday Funday!!!

9/20/21

It’s funny all the places inspiration can hit you.

I saw this today and it reminded me of perception.
Every time I thought about quitting drinking, I associated it with not being “me”. Drinking was so ingrained in me that it felt like part of my DNA.

It took a long time for me to realize that I’m still me. I’m just me with a shitload of positives!

No more daily hangover, no vomiting in the morning, I started showering daily, my skin began to glow and I lost weight without changing any eating habits! And those are just a few of the physical positives. The list for emotional and mental shifts is continually growing and is too long to try and quantify!!

A change in my perception has made me realize that instead of losing myself, I’m gaining a life I never imagined would be possible and gratitude for the chance to live it.

9/24/21

From my motivation app that pings me quotes throughout the day.

I’m one of the lucky ones who hasn’t (yet) driven away the people who love me. In fact, my parents have given me my recovery coins for the last three years and I have my brother’s one year coin after mine was left at a meeting.

My parents make a point to express their gratitude at my “birthday” meetings and it never fails that someone shares the significance of having the support that I do. It’s truly rare.

My parents and Butthead have each taken me to the ER for detox as well as rehab.

These are the people who have truly seen me at my worst and I can’t thank them enough for not giving up on me.

9/25/21

My fave pic from hiking today. It was about 7:30a, no one was around and this was the view behind me.

It reminded me what I’d normally be doing at 7:30a on a Saturday less than four years ago: either restarting drinking from the night before if I was by myself or beginning my weekend with a blasting hangover and dying for a “decent” time to kick off drinking again.

Just a moment in my day that I thought was beautiful and wanted to share.

Posted on September 18, 2021 by monicatbd · 2 Comments

Day 1,402 – Fourteen Hundred!

Dear Sobriety,

Few more texts to share…

9/15/21

Recovery has gone from a taboo “anonymous” subject to being a subject that people are openly talking about in the last couple years. This is one reason why I am very open about myself (also I’m an over sharer – I blame my mother🥰).
I consider it an honor to help kill the stigma while spreading the message that recovery is possible.
I love when people feel comfortable to approach me to chat. Whether it’s about themselves, family members or just because they’re curious why I don’t drink anymore, I’m always happy to share my experiences. (And I’ve actually been approached by different peeps for each of those scenarios)
The only skeltons I keep in my closet are for Halloween and if I’m being honest, they stay out all year round!! ☠️🥰☠️🥰

PS Danny Trejo was always a fave of mine, but he gets bumped higher on the list because he’s also in recovery.

9/17/21

Real recovery awareness thought for the day: since we’ve learned the 3 C’s and the hula hoop rule, we know that we can’t control anything outside of ourselves. So another add on is” expectations are premeditated resentments”. And a lot of the time we don’t even realize we’re setting them for a person, place or thing (including yourself) until we’re disappointed or upset.

The next time you get the negative feels, try to step back and ask yourself if you (un)knowingly set expectations.

It’s not easy the first million times, but once you start to get the hang of it, it brings you to an entirely new level of self-awareness. 🤓🤓🤓

9/18/21

I’ve tried not to associate these texts specifically to drugs or alcohol. That’s part of my story, but not part of everyone else’s.

Call it semantics, but I differentiate between the word sobriety and recovery. To me, sobriety = not using my drug of choice. Recovery is learning to live life on life’s terms.

Every day isn’t great, but we’ve all survived 100% of the worst days in our lives and that deserves a celebration. 🥰🥰🥰

Posted on September 14, 2021September 14, 2021 by monicatbd

Day 1,398 – Spread the Word

Dear Sobriety,

More texts to pass on and also, I’m kinda getting excited to hit the 1400s!!!! I still cannot believe it’s been this many ODAATs in a row!!

9/13/21

Got this from one of my AA buddies a long time ago. It lives on my whiteboard sobriety calendar that has been counting my days for longer than I’ve been sober. (There might even be knuckle marks in it from when I punched it after a relapse one time)
Thought I’d keep it simple today. Hope you all are having a meowgical day!!!! 😻😻😻

9/14/21

Three C’s

I first learned the “three C’s”while going through an outpatient dual-diagnosis program. Dual-diagnosis is essentially when you’re not only lucky enough to have a substance abuse issue, but also have a mental health diagnosis tagged on to you (mine being depression and anxiety).
They’re applicable to nearly everything (especially things causing anxiety for me).

Didn’t Cause It
Can’t Control It
Cant Change It

Let all those things that fall into these categories go! Except bills. Might want to keep paying those.

I was going to add a gif of Elsa letting it go, but I think this gif is absolutely perfect too!

If you’re curious, I go into more depth about the 3 C’s as well as the hula hoop rule in this post: https://dearsobrietyhome.wordpress.com/2020/03/31/day-866-three-cs-with-a-hula-hoop

Hope you all are having a freaking meowgical day! Sending love and light!!

Posted on September 12, 2021 by monicatbd · 2 Comments

Day 1,396 – Storytime

Dear Sobriety,

Please enjoy the Recovery Awareness texts from the last three days:

9/9/21

This. Is. Me. And I’m getting close to my four year mark.
I’ve prob cried more in the last four years than I have in my entire life prior and I’m a-ok with that. It means I’m experiencing life again!! I’m an active participant in my own life for pretty much the first time ever!
Happy tears, sad tears, angry tears… doesn’t matter. They’re all highly acceptable to me because it means I’m not numbing and hiding myself anymore. I’m present. In this moment. Right now. I am alive and I am grateful!!

9/11/21

ODAAT. One Day At A Time. This is a slogan I apply to everything now; however, this was probably the biggest thing that helped keep me sober through the beginning. Sometimes you just have to use psych tricks to screw with your mind to make things work. If I said to myself “I won’t ever drink again”, I would fail. Believe me, I’ve tested this theory on multiple occasions. Jim can attest to that. But if I tell myself I just can’t drink today, then I feel my chances of success immediately improving.

I still remember when Jim and I were living together and he went on travel and I actually stayed sober the first time. This was a HUGE first for me. I really think this was one of the major catalysts that has led me to adding a few ODAAT in a row. Me taking this step all by myself with no witnesses around to see me helped me instill that little bit of confidence I needed to push through for just one more day.

Life happens. I don’t have a choice in that. But I do have a choice in how I respond to it.

9/12/21

A few of my recovery coins I’ve collected over the years. You’ll see two 1 months and 3 two months. I could beat myself up about all the times I failed at this whole not drinking thing, but what would that do aside from create a never ending loop of depression?

After one relapse, I called my parents (were super close), and my mom told me to remember what Alfred told Bruce Wayne in The Dark Knight. (We’re also huge into movies). Me, being me, and in the deep dark well of despair where I spent all of my 20s and the beginning of my 30s, couldn’t think of anything, so she did her best Alfred impersonation and said, “Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up.”

If you want something bad enough, never give up, no matter how many times you fail. Learn from your mistakes and keep blooming into that beautiful person you are.

As a bonus for today, my brother (also in recovery) went over to mom and dads one time after a relapse and was going on about how he was a terrible person and he’s never going to get his life together and he’s just going to be an alcoholic waste of space and mom said……………
At least you’re not a pedophile. Lolololololol!!! That got a smile out of him and he’ll be five years sober at the end of the month. 🥰🤣🥰🤣

Posted on September 8, 2021September 8, 2021 by monicatbd · 2 Comments

Day 1,392 – Recovery Awareness Month

Dear Sobriety,

Yeah yeah. It’s been a while again. I know. We need to talk on a more regular basis, but to be honest, things have been going pretty steady. To be really honest, anytime I thought about writing these past few months, it was always regarding physical pain issues and I think you’ve heard me complain about that enough this year.

Anywho, Butthead’s work friends have a group text going where one of them shares info from an “awareness” month and I’ve invited myself in (cause I’m like that) and decided to volunteer since September is now Recovery Awareness Month. Woot!! A month all about me!!! Cause that’s who this alcoholic thinks about all the time, am I right?!?! I’m right. So I’ve shared with them what I fully intended to be short texts which were not because… writing always makes me want to write more for some reason (hence I’m baaaaaack!!). So I thought I’d share yesterday’s and today’s texts I sent. Figure I can do this and double duty it here. Writing is writing, right?

09/07/21:

So Butthead has told me about y’all sharing fun facts and info about different awareness months, so I thought that’d share that September is now recovery awareness month.
Hi, my name is Monica and I’m an alcoholic. I’ve been saying that since I totaled my car and got a DUI in 2009 and had to go to court mandated AA meetings; however, my actual sobriety date is 11/16/17.
I love talking about recovery and all the amazing things I’ve learned, so I’ll try to pop a quick share of my experience, strength and hope sometime each day (that I remember 🤓) for this month.

Let’s start here: https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/presidential-actions/2021/08/31/a-proclamation-on-national-recovery-month-2021/

09/08/21:

Happy Winedown Wednesday!!! (I had drinking names for every day of the week cause that means I deserve it, right?!?!)

Sobriety, to me, isn’t just about not drinking or taking fistfuls of pills. That’s the easy part (tho it took a while for me to get that first part down). It’s more about learning how to be a better person to myself and everyone around me. My daily 2 step process. Step 1: don’t drink. Step 2: don’t be an asshole. If I can get through the day succeeding at both of those, it’s been a good day.

Probably the greatest gift from recovery I’ve received is acceptance. I could spend all day using just my past as an excuse to fall down into the land of relapse (where I lived from 2015 – 2017).
Luckily, I’ve learned that, while acceptance doesn’t mean I have to like some of the shit storms I’ve gone through; I do need to recognize that I wouldn’t be the the amazingly grateful woman I am today without all of the days prior.

Two of my fave quotes ever:
1) If you’ve got one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you’re shitting on the present. – Anonymous
2) The sweet aint as sweet without the sour. – Brian (Jason Lee) in Vanilla Sky.

Also, in all fairness another reason I did this is cause I popped the mobile app open and fully copy/pasted all that from text cause I’m not just an alcoholic, I’m also lazy.